Too Much Gold For Only One Magellan

Dr Jacques COULARDEAU
6 min readAug 14, 2023

TOO MUCH GOLD FOR ONLY ONE MAGELLAN — UNCHARTED — 2022

This is nothing but a videogame but with nothing to do, no console, no keys to be pressed by no fingers. You are just taken into it, and you have to submit to this absolute submission, slavery, guidance, in fact, consensual rape. And nothing to do. It goes on all by itself, and you can foresee what’s coming next, like lifting the galleons out of the “pond” in the middle of the vegetation of the inner island. That’s the only escape possible, so let’s do it, and sure enough, it comes.

In the same way on the plane, the cargo has to be released and it is so funny to have each of these one-cubic-meter “packages” being strung up to all the others with some kind of cable. The plane then has a really long tail, and you imagine playing with this tail, and sure enough, at least two characters do it. But it is a tail, not a prick, so the characters have to be neutered, and neutered they are, or have been before the show. Not one millimeter of anything protruding here or there on these male or female bodies. They are bump-free men, where you know, as much as women, where you know. In other words, it is a film for young teenagers, as if young teenagers had no real desire in these bumps, because they do have bumps, and they wonder more or less, rather less than more, what they are for: they know quite more than their parents and teachers may think because they got clandestine lessons about using their bumps in some back alley from someone, male or female, that knew and initiated them.

The obsession with gold is a disease and I think the whole global planet should be sent to some psychoanalyst to lie down on a sofa and start sorting out this schizo-frenzy about gold, about being rich, about being the strongest person, and this is generally measured in bumps, you know where, but here they have been neutered and have no bumps. S(h)ucks! But that’s not true for the audience and their mental impulses and instincts are fully alive and they imagine, but without too much fluid production, what it would be to rub a couple of bumps in their hands, or a couple of bumps together.

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Dr Jacques COULARDEAU

Dr Jacques COULARDEAU, PhD in Germanic Linguistics (University Lille III) and ESP Teaching (University Bordeaux II) has been teaching all types of ESP